could you get the dagger out of my back please?

omg! drama is that all we live on? i think so bc there sure is a hell of alot of it i mean my weekend startes with my bestfriend claiming shes inlove with a guy i really like. do you know how offten i let my friends have a guy i like bc they like them too and thats the "girl rule" because i dont want to hurt them by going out with them and then tell my self i can take it when they go out with them. so my friday night was ruined bc 1. my friends where all high on suger and 2. my friend was obsessed with a guy i liked. that same night i lose a tie (like a connection) with a guy i like alot that i txt all the time. and then monday i find out theres a rumor that wasnt sopose to be told going around about me and i feel betraied bc someone told and i only told 3 ppl and only 1 other person was included with in it and now i just found out a guy i really really liked claims we never went out even though at one point he said i could say he was my bf. what REALLY happend was we talked on the phone and he said he liked me so i told him i liked him too and we where talking evrey night then he said i could call him my bf i was so happy and convinced him to go out on a date then he didnt talk to me for weeks i got over it (or told my self i did) and moved on then he moved to my friends and hurt 3 of them just like he did me. then this guy i like to talk to stoped txting me when he found out i didnt something i wouldnt do for him and i miss talking to him alot.

my thing is i dont like to txt or call ppl.

call bc i feel akward and then txt bc i dont wanna b annoying so i dont do it alot so when someone stops txting me i feel like they dont want to talk to me so y should i txt... get it eh w/e i need bed and cant wait till spring break im gonna try and forget evreyguy right now and just be happy that sounds like a plan.

butterfly in the sky

i love butterflies, so i want6 a tatoo on my lower back of one but unlike the one to the right i only want 1 i just thought this was an ahmazeing tatoo. i also want black heart on my left wrist and cherries on my left hip. im also getting my belly button peirced next year on the day between my birthday and my friends on may 5th i soooo cant wait.

and right now i really want candy!!! but tyler wont give me any meany!

URG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay this this guy at school ive liked him for 2 years, but im to shy to say anything so my friend did with out me knowing so he asked me out and we went out then he stoped talking to me so i was like wtf... what ever. okay well then he said sorry and we where talking again but i didnt say i still liked him, well then a few of my friends allasudden like him. so im sitting here trying to be the good friend and help them work it out, bc who am i to stand in the way if he doesnt like me then i would be a clueless bitch to stand in the way. well now he picked one who likes him but theres complications. so they went out and broke up. other girls started moveing in but he still likes said girl and so evreyone else is getting hurt. he doesnt know what to do and evreyone is pissed at him and confused. most of these people are my friends so they come to me or help and i try saying to just try and look past it nothing happened so dont linger on the moment thats about all i can do im not magic i cant go bippidy boppidy boo (i have no clue how to spell that) and make him like all of them or unlike the one he does but they get mad at me saying "whatever your no help" and shit like that when im pushing away my feelings to help them but do they know i like them no bc they dont ask they only want there happy ending who cares about anyone else!!! urg okay that was my venting bc that has been bugging me for a while.

i just wish theses stupid girls could grow up and move on when something that they want to happen doesnt i mean its not like they dated then broke up they NEVER dated so they should get over him. i did.

simply soy <3

okay well in my language arts class i had to do a hyper link so here it is if you click they picture of candles on the side. they are candles more importantly soy candles this link goes to my cousins web site these candles don't only smell awesome but they are good for the environment and don't turn the jar that ugly black. they also don't get so hot that if a child touches the jar they wont be injured. All of these candles are hand-poured and crafted by my cousin Nikki . They all have the same great quality and all natural products as her Apothecary Jar candles just with a little twist! she hope you enjoy the variety of candles she offers as much as she love making them. she often tells me that Its a lot of fun learning different techniques and making great smelling candles that look great too
All of these Candles are made with Pure 100% Natural Soy Wax.

common go green this is one step in our green future!

broken

okay my blonde hair has gotten to me once again. for example im typeing with 1 hand right now wanna know y? yeah well bc theres ice on my left hand -_-.

friday in my 7th hr gym class i was playing monkey in the middle with a basket ball and when i tryed to catck it it slammed into my finger ... in not the best at catching... well after it hurt like a mother effer so when class was over i txted my mom "um... i think i broke my finger" yeah i was kidding but i get all my stuff and go out trying not to use my finger i get it the car and my mom goes haha yeah where going to the hospital and guess what ITS BROKEN the tinyest little break but its broken i never relized how often i use my middle finger haha.

well im gonna read and study

btw sorry nicole for not comeing over bc well i kinda had a problem =] well hang thins week promise



ohhhhhhhh and jackie and i are talking again yay =]]]]]]]]]]

ABUSE!

HAHA okay im at my friends house bc shes was txting me all day saying "im bored you should come over.... im bored you should comeover" so i was like "OKAY ill be over in a a few" so i have my mom drive me over there and where all chilling (nicole- the friend and her little sister) and where bored out of our minds so kayla is showing me her room and i was like "call shane and tell him to get his ass over here" so they did and he came over and jumped on me like 60 times. i got a brush thrown at me and i couldnt move my arm bc it hit my funny bone i was laughing really hard but it hurt like hell and then i was bieng sat on by all 3 ppls and nicole was pokeing me with a pin OW so i was trying to get out but i couldnt so i pushed them all to the floor which was funny within the time i was there i also got my hand smacked it hurt soo bad i have a cut on my had and i couldnt move my pointer finger haha so i took shanes FREEZING hands and put it on it which helped haha then i somehow got a bruse on my knee which is huge but i dont remember how i got it and that it i think haha we sang the dora the explorer song and shane gave us weird looks it was funny then i had to go home =[ i wanna go bc over there so bad =]

this saterday im babysitting from 8 in the morning till 4 in the afternoon oh god help me

today i got it a fight with bryan about eating meat haha

oh and if you havent ever heard of quizilla.com you should check it out i have a stories on there and id love it if you read them
just look up the name will you be my hero and click the one with the name lovedloser123 under it =] then you can look at all my stories and give me ideas =]] i need them

i also have a myspace that you can get ahold of me
myspace.com/ilovenathanforever.com
=] I'll only answer if i know you =p

ITS REALLY LATE RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE SCHOOL TOMARROW SO IM GOING TO BED TALK TO YOU LATER BYEZ!!!

wow haha just ... wow i love my friends

okay well theres alot of stupid shit going on like one of my best friends not talking to me for a reason im totaly confused on. they guy i went out with 1. said i love you first date (wtf) and then i found out he only wanted a gf so he can have sex b4 hes a sofmore (haha he wishes), one of my close friends falls inlove to quick and is in a total boy crazy fase with a guy whos confused as hell. im really hyper and sleep depived so today is sooo gonna be fun -_-

theres this kid his names ry idk who he is but my friend let me talk to him and he was fun to talk to so i want to meet him but the other day we tryed calling cory who ry's friend and i was like hey he was like ... whos this so i said haleigh and he was like um... so i just handed the phone to torey bc it was prolly corys brother and we both looked like dip shits but they really do sound alot alike so toreys like omg guess who likes me and the guy on the phone SCREAMS "im not cory" she hung up and we where laughing our asses off.

the same day as our little um... phone incident torey and i went to tweenies to get soup bc my mom wasnt makeing anything i like for dinner and guess what. bc im oh so smart i got the WRONG soup! then walking down farifax almost to my house i start throwing the can up and down toreys laughing and saysy throw it hight i do and i dont catch it.... my dinner was then strone all over the street -_-

then i went to nicoles shane and lalya and annie were all there and layla and i where doing hw bc where good kids =D and the others where all chilling out side being crazy as usual and then they come in side shane JUMPS ON ME and make me do a huige check poin on my pants with my pen so i throw my pen and guess what bye bye pen after loseing my writeing utencil i stoped doing hw shane kept tickleing me which isnt fair bc hes like 3 feet taller then me! and then he hit me in the head with a huge 2 by 4 OWWWW lol but it was fun i went home did dishes and got sucked into a csi episode till 10 took a shower and finished my hw bc again im a good kid =D i didnt finish till one

oh and i really really really REALLY REALLY want to go see the movie fired up haha =]

my favorite band =p

have you ever heard of the band tokio hotel? well its a German band that has translated some of their song into English there like my favorite band but there lead singer Bill is my favorite out of all the band members i think he is a total hottie this is bill --->
my favorite song by them is final day, scream, rescue me, and reden. reden is a song in German reden means talk i also know that liebe means my love and i know how to say i love you but i have no idea how to spell it =p there most popular song is monsoon. yes i know that bill sometimes looks like a girl BUT in the pictures that he doesnt i think he is adorable dont comment me saying he looks like a girl bc idc =p (I AM STRIGHT PROMISE) anyways hope you look them up i think bills voice is ahmazeing!

confused

okay theres this guy and he is in two of my classes and he stares at me all the time which yes is a little creepy but ignoreable so thats what i did ignored it if i dont give any hint im intrested he'll get over it. yeah it didnt work it went from stareing at me in class to following me after school to sitting as close to me as possable at lunch all by him self soo tomarrow at school im going to tell him that he is creeping me out in the niceist possible way, its better then avoiding him and haveing my friends tell him he needs to back off because that doesnt seem to work to well.

okay one more thing do you know what pisses me off? girls thats what. we are so drama orented we thrive off it lol well anyway when ever i need to dish i cant. wanna know why because the girl im trying to dish to is telling me all her drama and doesnt even ask me whats up or if i give a hint she ignores it. that is why i tell guys my shit more then i tell girls bc they dont have anything to talk about, but then they think that i tell evreyone when in reality i only tell him. but anyway i wish girls actuly let me tell them things bc i only wanna tell like one person i think i can trust without going and telling the wrong person.

my valentines deam ... wtf

okay theres this guy and i like him... a little... but my friend dated him already so as all girls know that makes him off limits so im keeping it on the DL. then last night i have well a dream haha well anyway i was crying my eyes out for some reason i cant remember and talking to my friend but i couldnt hear my voice or jessies (my friend) then he comes up behind me and says hey whats wrong? okay i know not the most romantic thing ever but i couldnt hear anything else but his voice as he wraped his arms around me and then... i wake up!! yepp my stupid alarm decided to go off at the perfect time what i wanna know is what the heck am i deaming about a guy i barly know and thats off limits!!

mid winter what?

tomorrow is the first day of midwinter break with my mom have a little trouble with jobs i wasn't planning on doing anything but people keep asking me to go to the movies tomorrow in a big group and how can i turn down the fun. well to start my mom worked with a man called Dr.kiss and he bought her old bosses business so when ppl where getting laid off she got the pink slip too and got told that she talks to the patient to much. for cereal! who wants to go to a dental office and have no one talk to you? i know i don't a friendly environment is exactly what i want well anyways she didn't have a job and get all depressed what the heck am i suppose to do i cant make any difference by saying sorry a million times so i just did my chores and stayed out of her hair then the other day she got a call from a dental office they work on the red wings, lions, and tigers do you know how cool that is!!! anyway back to this weekend I plan to go see pink panther ha ha we all know how much fun that's gonna be then just chilling so far no more plans i got to practice guitar because at the moment i suck.

this weekend im going to go see my friends apartment shes 16 but shes engadaged to an 18 year old named chris hes ahmazeing and dont worry shes that one who wears the pants anyways they got engadged last spring and he gave her the ring on christmas =]] and now they are planneing to move to an apartment complex right by our houses but they arnt moveing till she is 18 they already liveing together and so the change wont be that big adeal im so happy ill be able to get away to my bestfriends house just down the street. =]

shy girl takes a chance and get shot down

okay well i love to sing BUT I'm not the biggest fan of singing in front of ppl when they can hear me... kinda its weird i get all nervous and my hands shake but i love the reaction i get like clapping and ppl calling my name so i took a chance and tried for a solo in a show called the cabaret i sang the song part of your world from the little mermaid but brittany (a new singer in our class) decided she was gonna do that song too but pumped up my ego by saying i was gonna get the part not her but i tried to be nice and told her that who ever mr. T thinks it best will win after hearing her sing i thought okay i have this on, im not onw to go around braggin that my voice is the best but i think i have a decent singing voice and for this song brittany just didnt have the voice and i think mine is decent so mr. T had said that we didnt have to have it memorized and even though its a disny song i was skettchie on some parts so i had the papers with me so i didnt screw up well evreyone told me i had deffinatly got the part and that i had done a really good job i listned to others try out and gave my mental rateing of there performances the nextday i had to sing with the piano and it was harder then i thought and i was off beat then brittany went and she was off beat too but he let her sing longer then he had a hissie fit bc not evreyone had there lines memorized HE SAID WE DIDNT HAVE TO HAVE THEM MEMORIZED TILL MONDAY (it was friday btw) so after my 7th hr i went and looked at the list to see if i made it, i didnt brittany did and so did my friend brook so i was happy for them but sad bc i had thought i did better then brittany but i didnt want to say anything bc she got it bc she deserved it like i had said before so tonight i went to the caboret show and still think i could have dont better and my friends and ppl who dont even know what my voice sounds like to give you a little tast of how brittany sounded i feel bad and bitchy saying it but I WISH I GOT THE PART INSTED OF BRITTANY I COULD HAVE DONE IT BETTER yeah and i know exactly where i get that way of thinking ..... my mom haha well i got to go to bed school tomarrow so bye bye

omg! guys are stupid!

okay there is this guy named Jordan and hes one of my best friends older brothers and I DO NOT like him anymore then a friend but I liked talking to him on txting and okay I'll admit I liked him a tiny bit but whatever anyway he went from txting with me all night, till it was 20 minutes before we had to get up for school, then getting mad at me! I really don't know what I did he said that he was going to break up with his girlfriend and I asked why? harmless enough right? well his excuse for not telling me was to complicated I said pssh I tell u complicated shit all the time you can trust me and his comeback was you tell everyone your shit!!!! how mean is that I may tell my friends but i was trying to be a good friend and let him vent about his girlfriend and if I could, help his relationship but No I get: 'm and open book urg! then he just stooped talking and when ever I said something he responded with whatever, after a day or two I txted him asking if he was still mad his answer ...... okay what the hell is ...... suppose to mean? I took it as a yes, wouldn't you? well anyways on that Monday I asked him if he was skipping our 7th hr be he hadn't been there in the past few day (yes 7th hr i have choir and Japanese so i needed an extra class fun right -_-) and he totally flipped out on me so I was like okay you don't have to get mad and he said who said I was mad? okay now I realize he could have gotten over it and wasn't mad anymore but when I explained why I though he was mad he response was wow... just shut up. okay now that one really hurt i didn't know what to say so i was like um... okay why are you being such a jackass? and he said your so not worth my time and that's another one under OUCH! I was so pissed so I said okay fine then bye. I'm SO confused and I hate that I don't talk to him anymore because he was my go to guy for venting!!! even though he thinks I tell everyone whats bothering me or on my mind I don't him and a boy named Pat are the only people i really spill too and now that I can't talk to him I feel like screaming don't ask why because honestly i don't know =/



okay now here's one for the I'm an idiot award, there is this guy his name is brad I've liked brad since 7th grade but never said anything well one of my friends gave him my number and he decided to txt me so we where talking and i was having fun getting to know him and started to like him even more then he said he couldn't remember what i looked like because we haven't seen each other since 8th grade (btw ppl I'm in 9th grade) okay well i sent him a pic normal me just sitting on my bed, he sends me a few then one with no shirt and I'm not gonna lie he has a nice body so i was all happy but we all know that everything has a price so he asked for a pic with more skin and i just so happen to be in my pj's at the time which was blue short shorts and a Cami so i took some pics and he said he liked them i still felt like a total loser for sending them well then our conversations went from actual words to pics bk and forth he would txt and be like pic? and then send me one and if i said no he'd get up take his shirt off and take a pic then say common i got up and did that for you in my freezing house plz the past time i said okay just one! and sent it i never got a response and still haven't i feel like such a loser.